Tuesday, February 28, 2006
today is the last day of febuary. 28th of febuary.
today is the last day of febuary. 28th of febuary.
Sunday, February 26, 2006
grr. shrugs. i cant even think now!
this semester, man how should i go even go describing it. im not putting in enough effort perhaps.
let me see how many things are there left to be done.
universities applications.
northridge apartments .
extra financial statements.
lots of of math.
(1 extra credit + 1 quiz )
and of course you know what.
those stuff again...
ahhhh. now i cant differentiate between reality and fantasies. hahahaha.. this weekeend i simply did nothing but play and play.
自作自受
自作多情
自寻死路.
haha im really making a joke out of myself.
this time i really really need guidance, from anyone including god to get myself out of the maze that i created myself. as stupid as it sounds, but its true. not like the trouble came out of nowhere, but its me myself who created it. life is tough, but im tougher. but now im melting down like the ice in the poles. its like how now brown cow.
how now brown cow!
Thursday, February 23, 2006
this week is rather hectic.
i got my math results back though, 60/100. which is a failing grade. well, luckily there is an extra credit. if i can score fullmark on the extra credit. teacher would give me a 80 for overall which is a B. well.
of course the busac test too. man i was so obsessed with something that day, till i cant even study properly. my bad.
its like 5am now, tried to sleep at 3.30am, however i just cant get to sleep. this is really bad. i hope busac results would be fine... im kinda worried.
today i went out with halim they all. ate at berkeley, and afterwards we went to this mountain to chill. the road were so sloppy and curvy, and in the end me and MiKe came out of the car to vomit. lol, its really funny. at this cliff, we managed to see the whole of san francisco. man the view was superb, like real awesome. man everyone was like, i wanna bring my girlfriend here next time. haha but then no one had a car to bring the girlfriend to here anyway! anyway it loooks something like .... this. not very clear, but maybe a rough idea of how is it like.
as you can see. its pretty dark, and you cant see much. the lights on the streets looked like little stars shinning, glimmering and sparkling. the real stars looks even more beautiful as it looked even closer to us. the view was just breath-taking. man...
i hope later on today will be a better day. if you know what i meant. oh well.
Monday, February 20, 2006
hidden lake was never more beautiful then this. the dew froze and became ice on the grass.
well well. a beautiful scene but its a lonely day =((
i look pretty much like a moron!
Sunday, February 19, 2006
well. i watched final destination 3 yesterday, it was pretty cool though. we ate at a japanese restaurent that was owned by koreans. hahaha how irony. well final destination wasnt that bad, the plot was great just that the show was pretty gorrrrrryyy.. blood spppllassshingg here and there. haha. the way they die is just unexpected.
monday is a holiday, im gonna go out now but im shall come home and do my homework and study for my accounting instead of slacking off my butt. ahhh my mind is filled with all the stupid things lately. i lost a bit of weight since im sick. well, i guess sick is not necessairly a bad thing as long its not too serious. hahaha, it helps you to lose weight and of course makes you looks pitiful. hahaha. oh well.
3 more months and im outta this place. this is crappy man. well. gottarun!
Thursday, February 16, 2006
it was happy valentine though.
but the as the story goes and ....
Monday, February 13, 2006
a math exam on tuesday and im not ready. partly to my poor time management and also myself being not able to discipline myself to study. so in the end, i have only 1 day to start revising for my math tomorrow.
today is the 15th, like 12 people came to my house to ate glutinous riceballs or whatever you call it. man i had to wash like tonnes of dishes and plates. worse still, they took out my unused condom and show it to the people who came. man, im like so embarrassed and of course im pissed too for taking out my things and showing out to people. people with no respect and all standing, putting their feets on the bed. worse still, cuddling my pillows and bolster etc. yeah it might be unavoidable, but it just disgust me when i think about as i am about to go to sleep.
man. everyday and week is a chaos. well. i just hope this week, i can like just get over with it peacefully. math exam and and so on. i wonder how come even when life is simple, it looks complicated. things are just constantly changing, and i don't want to accept nor adapt myself to it.
people making a big fuss and seeking attentions for things that are insignificant, while other people who are trying to reduce their attentions cause they do not want to be seen. well, opposite poles. people always try to be the other them they imagine themselves to be. we live our life the way we want at the expenses of others. this world is stupid cause someone has to take the responsibility, someone always has to. we do what we do, and we take the responsibilies for our actions. be it you regretted your actions or not, the path you took is the path you chose. humans are just blinded. life is a matter of choice, actually no not really. choices in life are limited, life is more like a matter of fate. man what am i talking anyway, grumbling about life senselessly, i will post a better and happier post next time. i think i just got a little depress for no reason. well.
p/s. its hard to find someone who understands you, and of course to understand you forever.
p/s,2. i cant help but to think that someone else uninvited is reading my blog. like really reading m blog. well. so, im changing blog soon!
Friday, February 10, 2006
wenxin,
honjitsu wa, ometeto gozaimasu!
congrats for being the smartest kid in O' level 2005.
well. i hope i dont spell it wrongly. i realized lots of romanji are different. outta the point.
man even wenxin gets to appear on newspaper, i better be there soon. it seems that my juniors are like especially smart, like 6 points to 10 points range. unbelievable. i have a math exam next week and im still not quite clear on how to integrate. im kinda freaking out though. well, and today was the day im suppose to go out to have fun. yet the amusement park was closed, and im stuck at home while everybody is asleep. i wanted to play basketball, but its already 4.29 and halim is not awake. i cant help to think but to think that i wasted a day not doing anything. sometimes its hard man, not to have friends. but its hard to have friends around you too. and you cant like dump your friend when you want to, and get em back to company you when you need them. lol. that works the same for girlfriend, just that you cant have unlimted of girfriends or else it would be ... . well. i have no idea what to do now, and i do not have any answer key with me at all. so i dont know if i do the questions rightly or wrongly. goodness.
i feel like spending my whole day today watching morning musume, my anime and my japanese drama. however, i concluded that it would be even a more stupid choice. although i will be indulging myself with pretty japanese girls from the show, but i will worry more about the homework. but but but... if people ask me out now to eat, i will definitely go eat ( which is pure dumb ) cause you spend money and waste time and you worry about ure homework. that sums up to my pure stupidity in not being able to value and manage time. aahh what the hell am i talking about anyway. wished i didnt have any math course this semester, i would be so happy, cause then i would be so relaxed.
so i could carry on dreaming and dreaming,
夢の翼を広げ
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
2nd part of tuesday
well. so today was tuesday and i had math. freak man i dint have any test or anything! so i studied for nothing! but there are lots of homework to complete man. like so many of them!
ok math was alright. i should have gotten a fullmark for the quiz, but i didnt because of some signs and so on! lol. oh well. skip the math topic.
today i saw AIRI and yumemi again. on the way home, i was like... man i should just try to go safeway and try my luck. maybe i will be lucky enough to see something like some pretty chicks ( which i thought it was impossible cause it was 10pm ). there i saw halim's car, and i was like, OH halim is in safeway. i went in and i saw yumemi! i turned my head i saw her boyfriend, a few japanese and airi! so i chatted with yumemi a while, well. she was like " airi " is there. im like ok.
but.
but.
but.
but.
i saw airi again, and came to the conclusion that she isnt that pretty. hahaha. but safeway was really crowded with lots of international students. but seriously speaking, i think i must be hallucination. i wanna take a look at airi again, like CLOSE up till i can see her nostrils. hahaha. i dint dare to look at her, like stare at her cause im afraid that people will notice. haha. oh well, now i come to a general conclusion that although japanese are more superior but not all of them are pretty. well well. but still superior. hahaha im a biased freak today. cranky cranky.
this 2 month have been rather hectic. tonight i shall spend my time watching one episode bleach and start on other university applications again. lately, i have been a japanese girls ( the pretty ones ) fanatic. but i guess the reality is pretty harsh. the pretty japanese girls are stucked in japan while the rich and not so pretty one are out here in dvc. i think i like them so much untill i start to hallucinate. haha, i met yumemi on the way to school yesterday. haha she greeted me and so did i. its a long time i saw her anyway! so we talked a bit ( although i was already late for school ). hahaha but i continued chatting anyway. and i asked her about airi. she was like, isit the girl with the curly hair, and the nice smile. im like YEAH. next question was, how old is she. yumemi was like, shes 21.
AAAAHHHhhh..
can someone explain to me why are all the girls older then me. 20 should be the correct age for going into college. but i went in at 16. oh well. but doesnt matter anyway. yumemi offered to give me airi number, haha i was like ( no no ). what in the world am i suppose to tell her, i wanna ask her out for valentine? asking a girl who is older then me by 3 years. doesnt sound any smarter to me. in any case, im lousy at flirting with girls. im also lousy at interacting with strangers. hahaha unlike jeffry. that jackass is real good. he just used my phone yesterday night and called and chat with some girls that he dint even know. damn hes good man.
anyway today i saw airi today. i took a close look and i realized she wanst that pretty. but because shes a japanese, maybe im biased. its when she smile she looks nice. shes a little short and chubby in the face but she looks matured. OHHHHH. ayes. jeffry was like telling me, how come this semester girls make us go round and round. jeffry was like asking me why i dint go for indonesian girls instead. im like, i cant clique. hahaha i think im just stuffing jeffry with nonsense feedbacks.
" darwin keep day dreaming yet he always hibernate at home instead of looking for a real girlfriend ". thats what they always say. hahahaha and indonesians dn really like japanese i guess. hahahaha, why why. all my classes are boring caues there are no pretty girls to look at. like seriously, if the class is without any girls, like pretty one it would naturally be boring. lol ewen i finally understand how you feel in class. hahahaha.
ill update later after my math class.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
you need to dislike the same thing to like the same thing.
this week has been a really busy week. rather it was due to improper time management. i made a few new friend, and my new roommate has been really lively. few more things more to go before settling down in peace. math classes, and of course the rent and tranfser of lease. one of my new friend is anthony, this indonesian taiwanese who doesnt speak indonesian language. thanks to him, i have been able to speak in chinese after a long time. hisashiburi ne!
well hes pretty proud of his heritage, thats a good thing. you see, every semester, there would defintely be people who join our group and leave our group. haha so fast the first problem already occured. well, i guess everyone is like girl crazy. this spring, there are like lots of introduction of girls. but my eyes are set on those irrealistic and unreachable morning musume girls. haha i wonder how many people out there are the same me. stupid and dumb yet they just continuing doing it. i guess its the effect of being superficial. the indonesian girls, i dont know what to say. how come all of a sudden i just dont want to mingle with indonesians. now i just like to hide at home, go home and start daydreaming and stare at my 14' inch screen doing nothing. its like so ... pathetic ( like what people said ). haha someone said, you want to find a girl but im forever hibernating. sometimes i wonder when i asked for a pretty girl, haha what do i have to offer other than my fats and pimples. ehhh, thats pretty bad isnt it. haha, and anthony said " you just have to be with yourself, there are lots of pretty girls who are out with ugly guys cause they have nice personality ". i dont know if he is saying that i have anice personality or what ( or maybe i have! ) hahahaha but well i dont think thats the case, well.
today i signed anthony up for some taiwan association. haha kinda weird i say, i wanted to join but after seeing the taiwanese, i didnt want to. man i cant help to say and think that i don't fit in anywhere at all! maybe its the reason why i always stayed at home. haha even my new roommate is more active as compared to me! he has like female friends that he mingles with. hahaha i dont have though but im not sad or jealous or anything. but its just makes me think whether i sucked at mingling, or am i just pure anti-social. i think i just wait for people to stick to me, like to call me out and so on. being an ass and waiting to get invited. like purely no initiative. pathetic am i not. now i wished for a car cause i wanna drive. not for usage, but to show off and attract attention. well wrong intention to start with, so thats why i don't want to get one. there was this event that started on last friday called 21 days to find a date. its pretty dumb, like you're suppose to find a date ini 21 days and they will ask you to do stupid shits thing anyway. and if you dnt have a date, they will " pasang " which means they will pair you up with some other people. man, i rather not take the risk and get some body i dont like. im scared, cause i dont like it. im pathetic am i not. then people would ask, why not find date first, hahaha im a coward man. wished i had someone to come and find me as date. i wonder if the event is solely for indonesians only, man i dont want to go and join stupid events like this. sometimes i cant help but to think that events like this are pretty stupid at times. it makes others happy, yet others sad. people ask me, thenwhat do you want, hahaha i dont know either.
i dont know if i have the rights to be picky in the first place, haha like what i said. i have nothing to offer at all. like totally nothing at all. hahahahahaha. life is a joke man... maybe i should ask misa otsuki out ( shes 21 years old and shes an average girl, but shes a nice person and a japanese too )
nutcase. i should use the japanese pencil to stab myself.